Recommended Reading


Without a Fight: The 5 Pillars of Ending the Struggle for Power and Leading Children Authentically: My short book on the philosophy and principles to consider if you’re interested in completely changing how you approach parenting. Reject band-aid strategies and start here. It lays the groundwork for everything else you’ll learn.

Unconditional Parenting: Moving From Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason: Most parenting guides begin with the question “How can we get kids to do what they’re told?”–and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking “What do kids need–and how can we meet those needs?” What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children: P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins.

The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind: In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children.

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting: This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too: This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship.

Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy: Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country in the past decade. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues.

Punished By Rewards: The Trouble With Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, As, Praise, and Other Bribes: The basic strategy we use for raising children, teaching students, and managing workers can be summarized in six words: Do this and you’ll get that. We dangle goodies (from candy bars to sales commissions) in front of people in much the same way we train the family pet. Drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Alfie Kohn points the way to a more successful strategy based on working with people instead of doing things to them.

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